Hogwarts Chat Room
by flowerbirdie13
Summary: this is what happens when there's a chat room for both students and professors at Hogwarts.  idea by Bellaminion
1. Chapter 1

fredrulz: hello! Who wants a candy that makes u puke and gets u out of class?

: I do!

fredrulz: ur names too long.

deanrulz: ?

fredrulz: copycat

deanrox: ?

georgerulz: much better

neville: um, hi

georgerulz: ur screenname's not creative at all.

neville: it's all I could think of

fredrulz: try harder!

iluvherbology: ?

fredrulz: this is a student/teacher chat room. What if professor sprout comes on and wants that to be her screenname?

nl: ?

georgerulz: what?

nl: those r my initials

fredrulz: neville, no one's going to know it's u!

loona: hello

fredrulz: did u spell ur name wrong?

loona: no. people call me loony lovegood, so I combined loony with luna.

nl: I hate people that call you loony

loona: good screenname neville.

nl: thank u. c, someone knows that it's me!

loona: I looked at what u were talking about before.

nl: ok

fredrulz: change it

nevillerox: ?

fredrulz: we'll work on it.

georgerulz: so who's read Voldy's latest glitter status?

fredrulz: I had no idea his girlfriend was a unicorn princess. I thought he was married to Bellatrix lestrange

georgerulz: no, her name's bellatrix…what's voldemort's real last name?

dumbyrulz: Riddle

georgerulz: thx. So she's bellatrix riddle now.

fredrulz: what is it with everyone adding a rulz to their name?

nevillerox: I used rox.

fredrulz: after u used rulz

loona: I didn't use rulz

nevillerox: well, ur just awesome like that.

loona: thank u.

georgerulz: r u 2 dating?

nevillerox: what? No, we're just friends.

Mcgonagall: have u all finished ur homework?

nevillerox: possibly…

Mcgonagall: I'll take that as a no. get to it.

georgerulz: this is the problem with sharing a chat room with teachers.

fredrulz: this should be interesting…

georgerulz: yup

Mcgonagall: is ur homework done?

loona: probably not. Mine's almost done. I'm taking a short break.

Mcgonagall: ok.

georgerulz: yeah, we're just taking a break.

Mcgonagall: go do ur work

fredrulz: we will

Mcgonagall: y do I doubt that?

loona: they're probably scheming new pranks instead of working.

Mcgonagall: probably.

**Hi! So, this chat room was all Bellaminion's idea. Hope u like it! Please review and vote on my poll, and have a wonderful day/night/whatever time it is! Bye!**


	2. Chapter 2

georgerulz: so who wants to buy the latest product?

deanrox: what is it?

georgerulz: our long-lasting fireworks. Y have fireworks just explode and fizzle out when they can keep exploding?

deanrox: like the ones u used on Umbridge?

fredrulz: the very same ones!

georgerulz: fred, how r those new products coming along?

fredrulz: quite well. Ill show u them later.

Mcgonagall: ill be confiscating those

fredrulz: did she spell that right?

georgerulz: come to think of it, im not entirely sure she did

hermionegranger: she did. U 2 should read more books. Then ur spelling and vocabulary would be much improved.

georgerulz: I don't think I will

fredrulz: me either.

Ron: im bored. Homework's boring. Im bored!

hermionegranger: where's harry?

Ron: he's on the computer, just not this chat room. But I keep hearing him laugh. Perhaps he's talking to cho on fb.

Mcgonagall: r u all finsihed with ur homework?

hermionegranger: I am professor. They, on the other hand, have probably not even started theirs.

Ron: about that…can u help me?

hermionegranger: absolutely not. Do it urself for once.

Ron: but I don't understand anything!

hermionegranger: that's because u and harry spent the entire day talking about how to annoy draco malfoy.

Ron: we're gonna do a bat-bogey hex on him tomorrow morning before class. Ginny does a mean one, but she wont help us get revenge.

hermionegranger: of course she wont, bcuz she's much smarter than u and harry combined.

Ron: so r u going to help me with my work or not?

hermionegranger: no. do it urself.

Ron: can I at least borrow ur notes?

hermionegranger: no. use ur own notes.

Ron: right. The notes I took…hm…can I use urs?

hermionegranger: no u cannot!

Ron: im going to fail, and it'll be all ur fault!

hermionegranger: that's not going to work this time.

Ron: please hermione! I need u!

hermionegranger: …fine…

Ron: hurray! Thank u hermione!

hermionegranger: oh, ur welcome!

loona: so…

nevillerox: how was ur day?

loona: wonderful, thank you. And how was your day?

nevillerox: bad. I blew up my potion today in potions.

loona: that's too bad. Well, at least you're good at herbology. You can always buy potions if you need them.

nevillerox: thanks, Luna. You're a good friend.

loona: thank you. Did u know that hippogriffs eat squirrels?

nevillerox: …no I didn't.

Mcgonagall: Longbottom, is your work finished?

nevillerox: yes professor.

Mcgonagall: then u might want to work on what we're laerning in class. You still can't do it.

nevillerox: yes professor. Bye luna!

loona: bye neville!

Mcgonagall: I need a vacation

Hi! Please review and please vote! And have a wonderful whatever! 


	3. Chapter 3

georgerulz: excellent Qauidditch practice, Fred

fredrulz: I agree, george. Especially those times Wood fell off his broom

georgerulz: that was so funny!

fredrulz: I know! It's like he can't keep his rear on the broom!

georgerulz: I know! At least he's a good keeper. Dunno what well do without him.

fredrulz: maybe Ron will take over. Then there'll be three weasleys on the team, not just us.

georgerulz: haha! Ginny'd be a better keeper than ron. And she never plays!

fredrulz: bcuz we wont let her…

georgerulz: bcuz she probably stinks!

fredrulz: probably…but it wont matter who our keeper is, bcuz weve got the best keeper hogwarts has ever seen! He'll just catch the snitch bfore anyone scores any points.

hp: I doubt it. Im just ok. So were gonna need an awesome keeper next year! But that's next yr, so y don't we focus on this yr?

fredrulz: ur right

georgerulz: yeah, bu who's gonna be team captain?

fredrulz: ooh, let's be co-captains!

hp: and then when u guys leave hogwarts to open ur own joke shop, Ill take over!

georgerulz: u said it!

fredrulz: hey, u know that there's a death eater's chat room and an OOTP chat oom?

georgerulz: yeah

hp: yeah, ive been on the death eaters chat room. I hacked it.

fredrulz: well, I figured out how to hack both

georgerulz: ooh, wanna pose as death eaters and members of the OOTP?

fredrulz: exactly my plan

hp: oh my gosh, that'll be awesome!

georgerulz: really, Harry? Oh my gosh? Really? What r u, 5?

fredrulz: yeah, act ur age, not ur shoe size

hp: omm, im sick of that phrase!

fredrulz: omm?

hp: oh my merlin. Duh

georgerulz: he says duh like its so obvious

fredrulz: so…

georgerulz: fred, have u finished the potions essay?

fredrulz: not even close. Have u finishe dour new products yet?

georgerulz: I'm working on it.

iluvdangerouscreatures: hi

hp: hagrid, u figured out how to work a computer?

iluvdangerouscreatures: it was hard, but I managed ok.

hp: hey, I should sign u up for a glitter!

iluvdangerouscreatures: what's a glitter?

hp: it's like fb

iluvdangerouscreatures: what's a fb?

hp: ill come over and help u sign up for both

iluvdangerouscreatures: ok…

deanrox: omm, that divination class was so boring! Were not learning anything, and the work is nearly impossible to do!

hermionegranger: it's rubbish! That old hag is full of rubbish!

Ron: well, we'll just have to suck it up and deal with it.

hermionegranger: but I don't take that class anymore, so u cant copy my notes. And harry pays about as much attention as u do! I don't know how ur going to pass that class, Ron.

Ron: me neither.

Mcgonagall: then y r u on the computer and not doing ur work?

Ron: I'm taking a break, professor.

Mcgonagall: like I haven't heard that ten billion times. Stop watching the weird sisters in their newest music video and start your work!

Ron: …how did u know I was doing that?

Mcgonagall: bcuz I'm awesome like that

Ron: …u keep thinking that…

Mcgonagall: I will keep thinking that bcuz it's true

Ron: …u keep thinking that…

**Hi! It's the crazy, random author person who is not speaking but typing. Please please please please review! And please vote on the poll on my profile! And have a superb day! Ooh, big word! Cupcake! Bye!**


	4. Chapter 4

Ron: I don't get it.

hp: me neither.

Ron: i give up.

hp: me too.

Ron: want to play wizard's chess?

hp: no, you'll just beat me again. Want to ride my broom?

Ron: yeah!

Mcgonagall: ur work is all done, right?

Ron: except divination.

hp: but it's impossible!

Mcgonagall: nothing is impossible. Try harder.

Ron: i don't feel like it.

hp: me neither. Let's go!

Ron: yeah!

Mcgonagall: i should do something to stop them...oh well.

centaurzrul: ...i have learned how to use a computer.

Mcgonagall: good for u.

centaurzrul: mars is bright tonight

dracotheawesome: that must mean the Martians and people who go to Pigfarts are celebrating something.

centaurzrul: or it means bad news to someone...

dracotheawesome: yeah, Auntie Bella's in an especially vicious mood today.

Mcgonagall: i only feel bad for u bcuz ur aunt is Bellatrix. Other than that i don't like u.

dracotheawesome: i hate u

Mcgonagall: NO! I HAD ABSOLUTELY NOOOOO IDEA! After all those times u've been disrespectful to me, i thought u secretly thought i was the awesomest teacher at hogwarts. I am so NOT OFFENDED.

dracotheawesome: i hate u

Mcgonagall: the problem with talking to teenagers is, they're not smart or mature.

dracotheawesome: so...ur a teenager?

centaurzrul: burn

dracotheawesome: thx. That was a good one.

centaurzrul: it really was.

Mcgonagall: Firenze, i thought u were on my side!

centaurzrul: i don't take sides.

Mcgonagall: right.

loona: hello

Mcgonagall: i dont have to ask if ur work is done, right?

loona: no. But u didnt ask draco if his wok was done

Mcgonagall: i dont care if he becomes successful or not. U, on the other hand...

loona: thank you. My work is all done.

Mcgonagall: good

dracotheawesome: kiss up

Mcgonagall: r u a death eater yet?

dracotheawesome: ...no. y?

Mcgonagall: ur dad's a death eater, and ur a mean brat.

dracotheawesome: i want to be a death eater, but im too young.

Mcgonagall: and too dumb

dracotheawesome: don't be mean! I'm awesome. More awesome than u. And im smart.

loona: debatable

Mcgonagall: BURN!

centaurzrul: woulsn't it be possible for us all to get along?

Mcgonagall: u try teaching for fifty years and see how u like it.

centaurzrul: no thx

**Hi! Please review and please vote! And have a wonderful day/night/whatever! **


	5. Chapter 5

centaurzrul: the stars r especially bright tonight.

Mcgonagall: what does that mean?

centaurzrul: there is conflict

Mcgonagall: u didnt need to watch stars to know that. Dumby and voldy r dueling again.

centaurzrul: splendid. Hopefully they won't blow too many things up

Mcgonagall: no, but Bellatrix will blow up more things than Dumby and Voldy combined.

centaurzrul: she is a strange female

Mcgonagall: UNDERSTATEMENT

centaurzrul: is it really?

Mcgonagall: u have no idea

Ron: lol hagrid got a fb and a glitter

hp: yeah, lol, i helped him make them.

Ron: lol r u friends with him?

hp: who do u think was his first friend?

Ron: dumbledore

hp: no, me.

Ginny: hi!

Ron: who r u?

Ginny: ur sister...

Ron: i have a sister?

hp: ...wow Ron...either ur playing stupid, u disowned Ginny, or ur really dumb.

Ron: i disowned her

Ginny: luv u 2, Ronny.

Ron: don't call me that!

hp: Ronny

Ron: *glare *

hp: lol

hermione: harry, Ron, what r u doing? Y rnt u guys doing ur work? I wont let u copy mine.

Ron: come on, Hermione, lighten up.

hermione: stop being lazy and i just might

Ginny: burn

Ron: go away Ginny no one likes u

hermione: Ron, don't be a butthead.

Ginny: yeah, Ronny, dont be a butthead

Ron: i will kill u

Ginny: lol then u can deal with mum and dad. I cant wait to c that as a ghost.

Ron: i hate u

hp: come on, ronny, dont be mean

Ron: I will punch whoever says that again

hermione: u want to punch ME, Ronny?

Ron: ...unfair...i cant hit a girl...

hp: lol

Ginny: haha

Ron: GO AWAY YOU ANNOYING SISTER NO ONE WANTS U HERE!

hp: lol Ginny u can stay if u want

Ron: i thot u were my frienbd, not hers!

hp: lol ur my best friend, and shes my best friend s sister, i have to be nice to her.

Ginny: oh, well, thx, i thot we were friends.

hp: we r. But im ron's friend more

hermione: all boys r idiots.

Ginny: agreed

hp: im not

Ron: yeah im not either

Mcgonagall: then y rnt u doing ur work like ur supposed to?

Ron: whoa, when did u get here minny?

Mcgonagall: call me that again and im giving u a detention and taking ten points from gryffindor. And ive been her ethe entire time

hp: ...AWKS...

Ron: yeah...what harry said...

Mcgonagall: get to work boys or im taking more points from gryffindor

Ron: whatevs

Ginny: boys r stupid

Mcgonagall: very

hermione: my work's all done. Let's go do something, Ginny.

Ginny: like what?

hermione: the slytherin quidditch team is practicing right now. Let's go and make fun of them from the stands

Ginny: lol ur an evil genius

hermione: lol

Mcgonagall: teenagers.

centaurzrul: what of them?

Mcgonagall: they're just teenagers.

centaurzrul: obviously

**Hi! PLEASE REVIEW! And please vote on my poll, which can be found on my profile. Have a wonderful whatever!**


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